When you think about your friends, you need to realize that the five people (or influences) that you spend the most time with, are the people that you carry the traits of.
If you’ve spend most of your time hanging out with five heroin addicts, more than likely you’re a heroin addict. Or, if you spend most of your time hanging out with five millionaires, more than likely you’re a millionaire or will become one.
So you can see how important your social circle is for self improvement. Now, I want to elaborate, it’s not just about your friends. It’s about your influences. You could spend all your time with 5 authors that you really get a lot of quality information from.
You’ll become most like what those five authors teach. For the sake of this article though, and because we’re talking about social dynamics, we’ll continue talking just about your social circle.
My basic self improvement tip on social circles is that you absolutely need to keep company that inspires you. You should strive to actively create this. So for example, right now I’m very actively into cycling. I train six times a week, so I’ve got my cycling family to support me in that.
I’m also very much into entrepreneurialism and business. My closest friends are not only entrepreneurs themselves, but also really like to go out, have fun, and meet women, just like myself.
It comes down to lifestyle design. The real self improvement tip is you need to recognize what your goals are, who you want to be, what you’re trying to achieve, and then surround yourself with people and influences that inspire you to do so.
If you fully embrace who you are and what you’re trying to do, you’ll begin attracting like minded people to you. You’ll always be keeping and meeting the best people for your life.
Now for self improvement to continue, you have to also recognize that people change. People’s interests change. Peoples desire change. People’s lifestyles change.
Herew are some basic tips on creating new freinds:
When you see a person that is in the group, approach that person and start a conversation. Start with a simple “hi” and when they reply, tell the person your name. If the person likes you and wants to carry on the conversation, continue it. Talk about simple stuff like classes, movies, shows, etc.
If the person likes you, get their phone number or email address. To get the phone number, ask them when you both have to depart one another. For example: you and Cathy are at the bus stop talking about something when Cathy’s bus pulls up and she has to go. Ask them for their phone number or give them yours any case they want to chat with you.
Talk to them occasionally, but not everyday. Talk to the person on Monday, then talk to them on Wednesday and then Friday. It takes time to get them to be your friend and to trust you.
When you see the person with the group, go up and talk to the person, but not the group. The clique does not notice you yet, so act like if the clique are the wind, unless you get introduced to them by the person.
Once you’ve talked to them a couple of times and have gotten to know them, start hanging out with the person. Ask to go see a movie with them. Offer to invite their friends from that group.
Be respectful and cool to everyone in the group. If your new friend introduces you to their group, be cool and friendly with everyone. They might not be so eager or trusting at first considering that you’re a new person, but don’t give up! Keep it up and show them that you can be a good friend and a good addition to their group.
Keep in mind; this is just basic conversation and relationship building tips. Don’t forget to first write dowen what type of social circles you want- you may need a few different ones for different reasons.